Friday, 5 August 2011

Copenhagen Beer City!

I’m on a journey, I’m on a quest, I’m on a mission, and the goal isn’t a destination. Because the journey itself is the destination, and the goal is to never stop moving, and never to settle down with a final conclusion. If you stop searching, you will stop finding! That’s why I search for the best beer in the world! And that’s why I find it over and over again! Lemmy would say: “The chase is better than the catch!” Even though that’s not exactly true, it still describes the attitude at hand here!


I AM A CRAFT BEER DRINKER!

But sometimes shit happens, and it can feel like someone is gunning for you, or trying to put spokes in your wheels. Sometimes so much shit can accumulate and rain on you at once, a major streak of bad luck, like you’ve drawn the “Ace of Spades” card or something. And you feel like a shit magnet! Winston Churchill said: “If you’re going through hell, keep going!” And if you got plenty of good beers and a good attitude, you’ll be fine, just like he were, and just like we were when we went through a lot of shit on our latest trip to Denmark!

World class brewer: Mikkel Borg Bjergsø

Talking so much about shit, it’s only fair to start this story with the first little poop escaping the Danish sewage system. You see almost one week before we left for Copenhagen there was a flood. But it didn’t wash away the sinners like the flood in the Old Testament, this was more like a modern day “biblical” plague. Water and sewage entered the homes and businesses of many a Dane. One of those unlucky that were visited by Mr. Hanky was the Mikkeller bar. And after, the bar was closed for almost one week. But there’s more, but we’ll get to that later, we have a lot of shit to dig through before we get that far into the story! (And lot’s of good beers!)

Awesome beer, awesome brewery!

Every time before I’m travelling, I get restless. Can’t sleep, I’m just thinking and planning, can’t wait to leave! This is a good thing. I was at home packing my bags when Bongo messaged me, I was drinking a “Duchesse De Bourgogne”, a Belgian ale. I’ve had a grudge with Belgian ale for a long time, and I’ve decided to try to work this out. And it’s not like Belgian ales is gonna walk up to me and offer a truce, or come on over and say hi let’s be friends, so I gotta take the first steps. Anyway Bongo’s message read: “Cardinal?” And I responded: “Yes”. We really love American microbreweries so we sat down and had the “Milk Stout” from Left Hand Brewery and the “B.O.R.I.S. The Crusher Oatmeal Imperial Stout” from Hoppin Frog. While we sat there drinking these lovely ales, we thought about what wonderful beers we had ahead of us. I showed Bongo my notebook, with addresses for all the places in Copenhagen I wanted to visit. The two next beers up were our old favorites of both of us. The “Imperial Chocolate Stout” from Southern Tier and the “High Tide Fresh Hopped IPA” from Port Brewing. Wonderful, wonderful beers, one dessert and one meal, one smelled like chocolate, the other one smelled like something that would make the narcotics dogs at customs check happy! We went home at 1am, with three hours left to sleep before the alarms would wake us up. After all we would have plenty of time to sleep on the plane, or in the hotel before going out. The departure time for the flight was 6am, so no problem, enough time…

Among favorites!

But when the plane came to a sudden stop on the runway just before take off, that’s were the real shit-storm started. The line for rebooking lasted for small 7 hours, and absolutely no information was given except, go to the service desk for rebooking. We were told that since we didn’t have connecting flights there was no need for rebooking. But when the plane went from delayed to cancelled, no information was given, so we ended up last in line. At 2pm we finally got a new flight and a new ticket, and we thought we could relax, so we did. We sat down in the bar with a beer. But when we went to the gate, we were told that the plane was fully booked and that we only had “stand-by” tickets, and that we had to wait for everyone else to board the plane. Two women that sat next to us in the bar, went to defend us by saying, hey we were on the same cancelled plane, and we have seats, how come they don’t? The respond was brutal: “Excuse me, have you been drinking?” What the f**k do you think people do when they have to wait for ten f**king hours? When we finally were allowed to board the plane we were told we were lucky because some of the passengers hadn’t shown up! WTF? SAS you’re officially on my SHITLIST! You suck!

Bongo & Haffy wild in Copenhagen!


Beer time: We arrived at Mikkeller’s bar at 7pm. It was still daylight outside, and a bunch of people were standing on the curb outside of the bar drinking, the smell in the air was invigorating. Three steps down and we entered a cellar of what is internationally known as a Mecca for beer lovers. The furniture was old and weary. I would call it Spartan. Bongo and me were the youngest folks there, and there were no women in sight. If everyone had a tan and a sombrero it would be like a bar from a spaghetti western made to look like it was a brick house in Mexico. Lots of men with big bellies in a shady bar with really cheap furniture, because it were halfway expected that it would be ruined in the next bar brawl anyway. Just imagine Terrence Hill getting in trouble for bumping shoulders with some tough guy dressed in black, getting his ass whooped, then the mysterious stranger sitting in the dark corner steps up for the rescue. And that would of course be Bud Spencer, the fight would include everyone in the bar, and all the furniture’s would be smashed to pieces and used as weapons during the fight. That’s the kind of place the Mikkeller Bar looks like on the inside. Now the reality is quite different, and as darkness descended on Copenhagen, the candles were lit, and after a couple of beers, the place was suddenly pretty cozy. So anyway, after we entered the bar, I went to get the first round of beers. I politely said hello and asked for the menu, but I was struck by disbelief, how could we have been so unlucky? There was no bottled beer, they had all been covered in piss and shit from the flood, oh no! This was a biblical plague after all! A punishment for all the sinful beer drinkers. And what was more, the bar just opened an hour before we came. After being closed a week, and you could still smell that some funny business had been going on. But luckily at least the tap beers were servable, so we decided to make the best of it, and try what we were interested in from the tap. That narrowed the selection down to 20 beers, which meant we tried stuff we normally probably wouldn’t, not necessarily a bad thing. I won’t be able, and I don’t want to tell you about all the beers we drank, cause this story would be too damn long then, and we visited other places that I also want to share with you. So here are some selected beers from Mikkeller bar that night…

Bongo & Haffy @ Mikkeller Bar

Mikkeller “1.000 IBU light”:
This IPA is claimed to be the hoppiest beer in the world, now this one also exists in a non-light version. The light version is at 4,9%, while the “full” version is at 9,6% of alcohol. This is probably the bitterest beer I have ever tasted, and after reading some reviews I regret that I didn’t try the “full” version also. But this crazy son of a bitch just didn’t turn me on at all. Every sip permanently damaged my taste buds, and I value them. This was not balanced at all, just damn awful. But it smelled like heaven, I love the smell of hops in the morning. The 9,6% version is said to be a lot sweeter, and you need that to balance the bitterness. The name 1.000 IBU is slightly misleading. IBU stands for “International Bitterness Units”, and the human taste threshold for IBU ends not much higher than 100 IBU. The amount of alpha acids in the hops used during hopping, decides the theoretical IBU of the beer, but it’s not possible for the beer to absorb all of the bitterness from the hops added to the beer, especially when using such vast amounts. But still this is a pretty crazy and experimental beer, and I really enjoy trying crazy stuff, even if I don’t like ‘em. So my advice is not to try the light version, but if I’ll ever find the full version, I’ll try it, but it wasn’t like I had a choice to do that when I bought this one. If this review made you slightly confused, google it or go to wikipedia for more info. I’m really interested in hops and I might come back at a later point with a full article on than subject, but that won’t be until I get my own home brewery set up.

How it looks like!

Amager Bryghus “Rated XXX”:
Hopocalyptic IPA, Amager Bryghus loves hops, lots of hops, as many as possible, as much as possible. And if you read my little review of Port Brewing’s Hop-15, you know that I love hops to. Now do you remember the little sewage leak they had in Copenhagen that I wrote about above? Well this one smelled like one, Bongo said, and I’m sorry cause right now I don’t mean to be rude. Now there are enough times when I mean it and want to be rude, but this is not one of those. So Bongo said, “This one smells like fart & sewage, with a hint of anus”, and how could he say that? Well after buying this one, we both sat there staring at each other wondering who farted, accusing each other, or wondering if it was some one else. With our suspicious eyes we searched the room, measuring people up and down, wondering what mighty man would be able to pack this kind of heat! But when we started drinking from the glass it was obvious, this was one stinky beer! Rated XXX (30) is an Imperial Double IPA at 9%, and the taste actually wasn’t as bad as the smell, hoppy and bitter is how I like my beer, and after getting used to the intense smell I could enjoy the last part of the beer. But it’s not one I would drink again, its somewhat of a curiosity…

This beer smells like fart!

Beer Here “Mørke”:
“Mørke” is a Porter/Stout brewed by the Danish phantom brewery Beer Here, this 7,5% dark ale was brewed at Nøgne Ø brewery in Grimstad. It is a well-balanced porter, with lots of coffee flavor, but also very hoppy. If they get this one at my local pub Cardinal I will definitively try it again. Beer Here is a “brewery” I’ve just recently got acquainted with, and I’m really looking forward to trying more of their beers.

Mikkeller Black makes me happy!

Mikkeller “Black”:
Wow, this one just slapped me in the back of my head with pure awesomeness! “Black” is said to be the strongest beer in Scandinavia, 17,5% of Danish dynamite explodes in your mouth when you take a sip of this one. It’s sweet, it’s bitter, it’s angry and happy at the same time. It’s a bit dry so it’s nice to have a glass of water on the side. And when you drink it, you will feel all warm and fuzzy inside, like you’re in love. This is the kind of beer you could bring on a ski trip, and when you reached the destination and everyone cuddled together in front of a fireplace, you could open a bottle of this, and share it with your best friends. Not much of a head on this one, but the taste of it last and last after you’ve had a sip. Coffee, dark roasted malt, a bit of chocolate, mmm. It’s not very carbonated, more like not at all, and it also taste of alcohol. So maybe it’s just me being fucked up for liking this one so much, cause I want more, NOW! Bongo said about this one: “What can I compare it with? Mothers milk when you’re new born!” Primal, very primal! We also tried the “White wine edition” of this one, also very very good!

The ever changing menu...

Back to the story: The Mikkeller bar visit included trying 13 different beers from tap, we met a bunch of Norwegian beer nerds, and got the most clueless of the bunch to buy Mikkeller “Beer Geek Brunch Weasel” which is made with Civet Coffee, yeah the coffee that’s pooped out from a small cute animal. When we didn’t feel like trying more of the beers available at the Mikkeller bar, we went out on the streets looking for a snack and then Ørsted Ølbar. A bar that I had written down in my notebook under places to visit.

Bongo at the smoking man hole...

It was midnight when we entered Ørsted Ølbar, the smoke rising from the manhole cover outside and the ugly yellow sign over the main door didn’t bring my expectations up. But once inside, it was easy to see that Ørsted Ølbar was the place for me. An environment I could relax in, and just sit down and chill! Possibly because it’s more similar to what I’m used to at home, at Cardinal! The bar only accepted DK cards, so I was given a discount on my first round, didn’t have enough cash. Nice and polite bartenders, good music at the stereo. Black Sabbath, Jimi Hendrix and stuff like that, just like at the Mikkeller bar. The furniture was nice, I mean I didn’t feel like crushing it over the next guy’s head, great selecting in both tap and bottled beers. A pretty girl was sitting by the bar, and I couldn’t control myself but to stare at her all night. I had to walk over and talk to her, just to find something wrong about her so I could look another way. Danish chicks are very pretty, it’s just too sad that I don’t understand half of what they say, but eye candy indeed. But we didn’t go to Denmark to pick up chicks, so let’s get back to some more beer talk.

Ørsted Ølbar

We only had three beers at Ørsted this night. First beer out was the Sierra Nevada “Torpedo Extra IPA”. Sierra Nevada is famous for using lots of American hops, whole cone American hops. But in this one they use a lot of German hops, probably US grown. Magnum hops has a high Alpha Acid level, which mean it’s good for bittering, but they also used Magnum hops for finishing and dry hopping. Sierra Nevada also used Crystal hops for finishing and dry hopping, Crystal hops is usually used as an aroma hop, which is the same as finishing hops. Last but not least they add the American Citra hops in the dry hopping process. Citra hops also have a high alpha acid level, but when dry hopping you only get the aroma from the hops. So the grapefruit and pineapple taste is from that wonderful Citra. The Torpedo had 7,2% of alcohol and a 65 IBU, and in my view that’s the perfect strength for an IPA. Strong but still easy to drink! Intoxicating but still refreshing! Bitter but still fruity! IPA is without doubt my favorite summer drink. I would have drunk it all summer long if it wasn’t for stout’s, porters, imperial pilsners & Christmas beer.

Me (Haffy) @ Ørsted Ølbar

Then we left for Lakewood, New York, I mean we bought two bottles of Southern Tier. The “Mokah” is a mix between two old friends, namely the “Jah-va” & the “Choklat”. “Jah-va” is an excellent coffee stout made with beans from Jamaica. And the “Choklat” is a wonderful chocolate stout made with bitter chocolate from Belgium. The Mokah uses 6 different malts and 4 different hops, and that might mean excess for a lot of people, but for me it just spells “Southern Tier” aka love! 11% of punch my face surprises no one when it’s from this brewery. This is a drink for kings, queens and gods. And you don’t fit into that description! If one of these bottles falls into your hands, deliver them to me or receive the wrath of the almighty Haffy! He-he, yeah they’re really good, I bet Rasputin and the tzar family would’ve love the Blackwater Imperial Stout series from Southern Tier. And I’m proud to say that I’ve tried them all! There’s something about Southern Tier, I just gotta try them all, when we noticed “Hoppe Imperial Extra Pale Ale” we just had to try that one to. “Hoppe” is made with Colombus and Amarillo hops, both are fairly bitter and aromatic and works well both during the boiling and the dry hopping. But at this point we were getting pretty tired and drunk, remember we’d been awake since 4am. So after this one we headed back to the hotel after we had a quick bite at some fast food wagon nearby. The Hoppe was great and I liked it, but I don’t have anything more to say about it except, I hope our paths will cross again! Consider it like a first date with a hot chick you met in a bar. You took her home, had good sex, sent her home in a cab, and when you woke up the day after you don’t really remember the details, but you know you liked it and you want some more…

Southern Tier: Hoppe

Bedtime! Bongo snored like an elephant, and I recorded it, listen here…



It’s funny how I’m never hung-over when I’m on a vacation, it’s the exception for the rule, always up early and ready for more. Drink like a sponge, and still motivated and ready to repeat it the day after. It’s like if I don’t have time for a hangover, I don’t have one! Maybe it’s a matter of will? No time for pity now, rise and shine. The headache thing is something I’ve never been much bothered with anyway, but I think that’s because I’ve always been good at remembering to get some water during and after drinking. My hangover is usually a slight depression with a slight emo vibe to it, while feeling a little bit more tired than usually.

Schnnaps für buisness!

So Saturday was here, I woke up first, had a shower and all that, and then woke up Bongo. First thing Bongo commented on was: “God damn you snore”. Made me laugh cause when he went to bed, he started snoring after 2 seconds, really loud, and as you know I recorded it! His response when he heard it was: “Is that me?” We started the day with a bottle of Underberg, and then we left for breakfast and more beer. Or was it the other way around?

Ice cold Mikkeller Black in the sun, mmmm...

Ølbutikken on Istedgade 44 is probably one of the best beer shops in the world. Not because it has the most beers, but because of the interesting selection. Ratebeer rated them as number one at a point. Ølbutikken is owned by Jeppe Jarnit-Bjergsø, also known as “The Evil Twin” brother of Mikkeller. Ølbutikken’s selection is around 250+ beers from all around the world, lots of American beers, and a lot of Danish. When we where there, we had a Alice Porter served in Brewdog glasses, while we strolled the store for special treats. The shopkeeper was super nice and very knowledgeable. I forgot to take pictures here, sorry, but I really recommend visiting this place if you’re ever in Copenhagen. I know I’ll visit again. So we bought a bunch of beers, that I’ve hid away after coming home, special stuff like stuff from Cigar City and other breweries not available in Norway. On our way back to the hotel with the beers we stopped at the Mikkeller bar. Had a cold Mikkeller Black in the sun before we dropped in at a local Sushi store and had the today’s special, bough some wasabi nuts for appetizer. Mikkeller Black was awesome!

Barley Wine

Our next stop was Barley Wine! Barley wine is a shop that focuses on the stronger beers. Another great shop like Ølbutikken, lots of rare stuff that I never thought I would find again. Like Nøgne Ø’s Dark Horizon II, awesome! Can’t wait to try it again, saving it for a special occasion! An older lady and an old man were working there when we visited. The store is really small, but still really great. I wish I had a store like that where I live. So I could enjoy some great beers now and then!

The selection!

Rant warning: Fuck you Norwegian alcohol laws! Beer is culture, don’t bully my culture, I want freedom! Maybe I should move to Freedonia? Norway is a really great country, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes Norway is like a strict parent, like an overprotecting mother, just smothering you with unnecessary rules. Her intentions isn’t bad, she just does what she thinks is best for you, but that don’t make it right! Mum, I’m old enough to know best myself now, please stop this shit! The drunks drink the cheap stuff, don’t worry, they can’t afford this kind of stuff I drink, let us have it! This is culture! This is love! This is hand-crafted quality products! The fact that a bottle of beer has 10% of alcohol or more, doesn’t mean we drink more alcohol, most of the times we share a bottle like this, like you would share a bottle of wine with a friend. The stately liquor monopoly items list consists of 83,5% wine, 15% of booze and only 1,5% of beer. Less than 200 of the items are beer of the 13.000 products they have for sale. All beers stronger than 4,75% can only be sold at one of these stately monopolies. So as I see it, the stately monopoly called “Vinmonopolet” is destroying beer culture and good drinking culture based on taste and quality. I don’t even care about the high taxes, just let me get a good selection of quality products. (Like the wine drinkers have!) Open for private companies to sell alcohol over 4,75% now! Yes I can import for own use myself, please give me a million dollars so I can afford! Cause it’s really f**king expensive. The people who just wanna get drunk drink the cheapest stuff anyway, the least tastiest beers, the wines where they get the most bang for the bucks, the cheapest vodkas. Craft beer will never be able to compete with the mass produced piss in price. Norwegian drinking culture is retarted! I can help you remove that extra chromosome…

Kihoskh

Kihoskh, claims to be the strangest kiosk in the world, do you need some fresh vegetables, toilet paper, a newspaper and some craft beer? Go to the Kihoskh! Here you will mainly find Danish and American craft beers. Forgot to buy some good beers for the nachpiel? Thrown out of the bar to early? Kihoskh is open until 2am, so don’t worry, if your too late it means it’s time to go to bed! Lots of benches on the outside, but police has stated that it’s not legal to drink beer there, what do you do? Walk ten meters to the central reserve, sit down, chill out and drink beer! There’s one more strange beer store in Copenhagen, but I didn’t get the time to visit it, it’s called “Fish & Beer”, and that’s what they sell, lol!

Mikkeller Bonanza

At every store and every bar we went to, I asked for “Det lille bryggeri – Lakrids Porter”, at every place they told me: “Sold out”! So I imagine that it must be awesome, but I found from the same brewery a beer called “Chili Lakrids Ale”. PS lakrids means liquorice. Yeah, so we’ve just been to three beer stores and all was not bought for the purpose of bringing home. We sat down in the nice and quiet backyard of the hotel. Put our beer in the sink, filled it with cold water and started with the beers we had that was already cold. The Chili Lakrids Ale kept what it promised. Yes it tasted like chili and liquorice, also very malty, you could feel the chili all the way to your ears. But still very nice, though I recommend you to share it with a friend, because that’s what friends are for! We had three single hop beers from Mikkeller, Cascade, Amarillo and Mt. Hood. We also had a bottle of Mikkeller Draft Beer made with Cascade and Amarillo hops. The fun part were to taste the differences between Cascade and Amarillo, how much more fruity Cascade was, and how much more bitter Amarillo were. But Amarillo has a much higher Alpha Acid level, they both are citrusy, but in very different ways. Then we mixed the two single hops before trying the “Draft beer” made with the same hops. Drinking these single hops from Mikkeller can really help you getting to know the different hops, and if you are a beer enthusiast I recommend it. Few things are more impressive than an impressive lager, cause lager is usually very tasteless and crap. But Southern Tier’s “Krampus” is definitively not tastelss. “Krampus” the Christmas devil delivers an aromatic brew, and with 9% of alcohol it’s definitively another lager you wanna share. Krampus hands out punishments to the bad and naughty children, and beats them with sticks and chains, but beaten is not what I felt after drinking this one, more like alive! Spank me! An angry lady in a window complained, showed us her angry shaking hand, but we were done anyway. After all these beers we got hungry, a table had been booked at Nørrebro Brygghus, so that’s where we went.

Nørrebro Bryghus

Anders Kissmeyer opened Nørrebro Brygghus back in 2003. Before that he worked for Carlsberg as head of laboratories, and later as a quality controller for Carlsberg’s many breweries around the world. On one of these many travels he encountered Brooklyn Brewery, and was surprised that a small brewery could produce such a varied selection of beers with such excellent quality. The department of development at Carlsberg was not impressed with his stories and called it a naive dream and said that it certainly would not be a marked for it in Denmark. The following year Anders resigned. At Nørrebro Brygghus you get food that matches the beers and food made with beer. An example is for instance their bread, which they replace most of the water with beer when baking, to get fuller and tastier bread. The brewery for the restaurant is placed inside the restaurant, and the fermenters and storing tanks can be seen from almost any table. Originally the restaurant idea was just a great way to launch the brewery, and to promote beer and food together. Now Nørrebro also have a brewery outside of the restaurant, and the brewery in the restaurant is mainly for the restaurant.

Inside

But how is it that I found out about this place? Kissmeyer and Mike Murphy made a collaboration brew, “Smoked Baltic Porter” was sold on tap at Cardinal, my hometown pub. Mike Murphy and Anders Kissmeyer brewed this one at Lervig brewery at Hillevåg, Stavanger. It was an awesome beer, and when Kissmeyer’s name popped up in a beer blog (Humle og Malt: Veldig bra ølblogg for de som kan Norsk! Respekt!) I read, tipping on places to visit for a beer enthusiast in Copenhagen I knew I had to check it out.

The cheese platter!

So Bongo and me had a reservation at Nørrebro, when we showed up there was a group of people getting a tour of the brewery, everyone were holding glasses and learning how to taste beer. The tanks and the brick walls created a nice atmosphere for beer drinking. We ordered the six-course meal, seven is the maximum, but alas they were one beer short the day of our visit. First we were served the “Stuykman Wit” as a starter. Then the five other beers followed, an light brown ale called “King’s County Brown” were served with a cold tomato dish. “Ceske Böhmer” a Czech pilsner was served with a light salad with feta. “Pacific Summer Ale” a light American Pale Ale was served with the main coarse that was chicken. My favorite the “Citra Pale Ale” was excellent with the cheese platter that was served before dessert. The dessert, an awesome chocolate “something”, sorry ha ha, I didn’t document it in my pictures. But I do remember the beer, mainly cause I didn’t like it. The beer to match the dessert was the “Furesø Framboise” basically the wit we had for starter only brewed with raspberries. We stayed for an additional two beers, the atmosphere was great, a live jazz band were playing in the ground floor of the restaurant and created a nice background for more beer and beer related conversations. Nørrebro also sold beer from a couple of other breweries, and we shared a bottle of Lost Abbey’s “Lost & Found” and Lefthand’s “Black Jack Porter”, neither of them impressed us, so we headed back to the place we had been the day before, namely Ørsted Ølbar. But our visit at Nørrebro had definitively been a good one. The Danes are such a relaxed people, and I enjoyed watching the staff at the kitchen drink beer and dance while working, it would have been frowned upon in Norway.

Bongo & Smokehead

ARRRRGGGHHH! We went back to Ørsted Ølbar! To drink some hardcore beers! More beers that I had wanted to try for a long time. The Norwegians we met at Mikkeller the day before had also found their way to Ørsted, when we entered the pub we’re immediately greeted by the bartender from the day before. I grab a catalog, and order Bongo to order a Brewdog “Abstrakt AB:01”. This vanilla bean infused Belgian quad kicked like a mule with its 10,2% ABV. Like the rest of the Abstrakt series from Brewdog, this one is very rare and only released in 3.200 bottles. It is recommended to store it for 12-24 months, this one was released in April 2010, so we drank it in its prime. It’s always cool to drink rare beers, but I can’t tell you too much about this beer, I have waited too long to write this blog. Too much work I guess, working hard you know, to put beer on the table! But I’m a big fan of Brewdog as many of you know, and I wasn’t disappointed this time ether. Next one up was the “Paradox: Smokehead”, also from Brewdog, funny how we had to go to Denmark to try some rare Brewdog beers after visiting them just a couple of weeks before. Anyway this dark malted 10% juggernaut was actually expired when we bought it. And that surprises me because very strong beers usually hold for a long time, but not this one apparently. Stored 6 months in Smokehead Whisky Casks, it definitively has a lot of whisky character in it. Smokehead whisky is a newcomer from the Islay district and the first whisky was available for sale in 2006. With its rock ’n’ roll image and design it’s a perfect match for Brewdog. This Imperial Stout was smoked as hell, very good, but not as good as the “Paradox: Isle of Arran”. But still worth a try!

Lovely beer!

Beer is our business, and business was good, so there was no reason to go home. We chatted with Danish beer enthusiasts, got tips on other places to visit, chilled out and drank more beer. Met some beer bloggers, and had a real fun time. I love trying new beers and there were still more new beers to try! Next one up is like a meal. The rich and thick Southern Tier “Imperial Oat” Oatmeal Stout. It was dark as a moonless night, and had a lot of the typical tasting notes that many Imperial Stouts do, you know chocolate, vanilla, coffee, and so on. This one was absolutely awesome, a killer stout at 11%. It’s a seasonal beer, brewed in the start of the harvest season, and made with freshly harvested oat groats. When we bought the last beer of the night, the Stone “Imperial Russian Stout” we were told that Stone has stopped exporting beer to Europe, and apparently now they are planning to open a brewery in Europe. The plan has been ongoing since x-mas 2009. If you go to Stone Brewery’s blog you can read about all the other stuff they’re opening, so Europe is probably next. The Imperial Russian Stout from Stone was also awesome, according to Ratebeer it’s a top 25 beer in the world.

Stone Brewery

Lost in a haze of alcohol, we wandered the streets of Copenhagen. Outside of the church of scientology we start joking around, and I proposed a TNCP act. But a big ghetto funny boy starts joking around with Bongo. Our focus was changed to simply get away from this loser. When we returned to the hotel Bongo’s wallet was gone! Hurrah! (Even though Bongo blocked his card, the thief was able to use the card for taxis the next month, and now 11.000 NOK is missing from his account.)

Sediment hell!

When we woke up and start packing the beers the morning after, Bongo said “I have way too much beers to fit in my bag”. So we start this day also with beers. Six beers later at noon we left the hotel. The best of the bunch was Drake’s brewing “Drakonic”, another American made Imperial Stout. The most violent beer this morning was Evil Twin “Christmas eve in a New York City hotel room”. But only because it exploded when I picked it up, and the sound was loud as a gun shut. I stood there with guilt all over my face with beer pouring down on the carpet. And a lady in the backyard stared into our room looking like she’d just witnessed a murder. Anyway the sediments were all over in the glass when I poured what was left, still pretty good though!

Drinking in bed!

Since we had a bunch of hours to wander the streets of Copenhagen before our flight, we had plenty of time for exploring. Yeah and Bongo had to report the theft. We ended up on Apollo Bryggeri, another restaurant that brewed its own beer. Had a nice burger, but the only beer that stood out was their Rhubarb beer, not because it was especially good, but because it was different. Still it was a pretty cool place with a nice atmosphere. Before picking up our luggage at the hotel we had two more beers at Mikkeller bar. At Mikkeller they had just put on a keg of Big Bad Barley Wine, the last they had left, found in a dark cellar, forgotten for years. Really good barley wine, brewed back in 2008. We had a nice chat with the barkeeper and said we will return when the full selection of bottled beer is back in stock.

Apollo

Copenhagen to Oslo went fast and nice, we paid puny 200 NOK in customs for importing 10 liters of beer each. In Stavanger my luggage smelled funny and I knew all my beers had not survived. Two of my beers were without the caps when I unpacked, one of the beer bottles was completely empty, like someone had dried it after emptying it. Both of the boxes for the Nøgne Ø Dark Horizon 2 edition were bended. The bottles were fine, but I swear it looks like someone put their boot into one of them. Bongo’s luggage didn’t arrive at all, we though, but the last bag on the luggage belt, carefully wrapped in plastic was his. Almost all bottles were crushed, like if someone had carefully opened the bag and broken them one by one. After the horrific experience on our way to Copenhagen, the theft of the wallet, the incident with the Mikkeller bar and now with the beer we brought, I think there’s only one explanation! Somebody must have laid a curse on our trip, somebody had put a wicked spell on us, somebody with a motive. And that doesn’t leave many people in the list of suspects, it must have been the beer loving guitarist of my band Upskirts. He now also play in two black metal bands, so the evil black metallers must have conjured up a mighty spell to send us straight to hell. After all they worship Satan, the god of egoism. And we drank all the good beers, leaving them at home with only crappy beer. Now that I think of it, we won, we’re the evil ones, yeah! Until next time, hell awaits, drink craft beer, screw shitty lager! I will be pretty busy for a while, next chapter might not come until September… (But we’ll see!)

Cheers
- Haffy

P.S. as I'm publishing this, I'm on my way out to celebrate "International Beer Day", cheers again!

Thursday, 7 July 2011

To Aberdeen and beyond... (Part II)

Alright! 

Welcome to part 2 of the Aberdeen story. But first a short overview of day 1: Me and Bongo had 27 different beers, met some cool people, ate great burgers and then slept for many, many hours. Our first day in Aberdeen was great, the Brewdog pub was awesome! Now here’s day 2, cheers…




N.B. Getting drunk is just a bi-product of drinking lots of good ale!


The place to be!


Saturday at 1100 hours: I woke up, grabbed a shower, and did my other necessities. No hangover, feeling well, nice! Ready to do it all over again! The city was gray, and the weather forecast said rain, but I felt great. “What a fine day to visit the pub”, I thought, but first we had to get some breakfast. We had been talking about Haggis and Fried Mars bar since before going to Aberdeen, we had a walk around town, looking for food, didn’t find any places open that served what we were looking for, so we ended up at KFC. Bongo bought the family value meal, with a bucket of chicken and four portions of frites. The service was crap and the food was medium at best, but it’s KFC, something we don’t have in Norway so we dug in like little children on a Saturday. Then we headed for the place we knew we would get great service…

Bongo eating breakfast at KFC!

We arrived at the Brewdog Bar 12:30. The bartender welcomed us, he was about to change kegs and offers us a taste of the "Mr Miyagi Wasabi Stout" planned for later that night. Dan, one of the bartenders at the pub made it at the Brewdog brewery just outside of town. The wasabi taste came into the picture at the end of the taste, nice and strong. We grabbed the beer menu and sat down, some dodgy looking person had already taken the couch we had the day before, so we were forced to taste wood at one of the benches by the wall. Slight criticism: It sure would be nice with some pillows dudes! But I guess not all guest and costumers that come in plan to stay for 12 hours drinking beer, he he. Before we decided what to order we were served two glasses of Brewdog’s very own “Royal Virility Performer”, basically it’s just a "spiked" mix of “Punk IPA” & “Hardcore IPA”, but there’s a taste there in the background I just can’t describe, maybe it’s the horny goat weed. By "spiked" I don't mean like a rape drug, more like the opposite, here drink this and want to have sex with me. Like a magic potion! A free stout and now a free IPA, what a way to start off the day! I asked if they had any hoodies size XL in stock, but they were out, bummer! Because one bad thing about the Brewdog web shop, is the hilarious 40 pounds postage fee if you order from Norway. We have to pay customs for anything that costs more than 22 pounds or 200 NOK, so it’s most practical to order for under that amount. And for alcohol you have to pay customs and surcharges. And adding 40 pounds on top of that, that’s just too much, even for me. The total for anything costing more than 22 pounds would almost become the same price as a cheap round trip flight ticket to Aberdeen. Sorry guys, I won’t be using the web shop, until…. *hint hint* ;) Do something about the postage fee! 




Do you want your ale to taste f**king awesome? Just drink a pilsner first…


The pub!

The first beer we bought was “Jinx Proof”, from the American brewery Three Floyds, it’s a pilsner. We would never buy a pilsner unless we really like the brewery, and Three Floyds is one brewery I want to try more from. Think about all the crappy pilsners you’ve drunk throughout your life. Life is just to damn short to drink the cheapest beer, way to short! But this is no cheap pilsner, and after the crazy yesterday we had it was nice to start, just a bit more careful! But that don’t mean we didn’t want great taste, we need our hop fix you know. Next one was the “Cali-Belgique IPA” from Stone brewery, more American beer. This one is identical to their normal IPA that was on tap Friday, only this one was made with Belgian yeast strains instead. So is this how Stone IPA would taste like if Stone were a Belgian brewery? Interesting! It was fun to taste how different, but still how similar they were. I liked it, but I prefer their normal IPA, which is no less than one of the best IPA’s ever! Next up: “Bitch please”, I was told by the bartender that the correct way to order this one was to say, “Bitch please, please…” This is a collaboration brew between Brewdog and the earlier mentioned American brewery Three Floyds. It's a barley wine at 12%, made with many different types of malt, among them Laphroig whisky malt. Laphroig is the peatiest and smokiest Scotch out there, my personal favorite! After fermentation this “bastard” of an ale was stored 8 months in used Jura single malt whisky barrels. So this one is only for you though sons of bitches! The dodgy person occupying the couches had finally left so we reclaimed our favorite spot again! Bongo got the next round, and brought back an old favorite! Nøgne Ø "God Jul" 2009 edition, nice, nice, nice… Brewed back in August 2009 with plenty of time to develop in the bottle. Spicy and tasty, it smelled like Christmas morning cookies, it’s a beer you really want to chew, and you should, literary, it’s that good! Smelled great, tasted great, ten out of ten points! Burger time, we were getting hungry and we didn’t want to leave just yet. So I ordered the beef burger with the Bramling X, ginger & pear chutney on! Who comes up with this stuff btw? Hops, pears & ginger as burger relish? Anyways it tasted awesome, just awesome, I wanna learn how to make this stuff myself… If I was a woman I probably would've asked them for the recipe!

Haffy chilling out!

Bongo and me had talked a lot about what beers to bring home, and the time to decide had finally come upon us, we wanted to get it done before we got too wasted, because we didn't plan to stop drinking before much later. I asked for a pen and a paper and started thinking. Bongo bought some Flying Dog, the “Double dog” double pale ale, and a “Tire bite” golden ale, the "Double dog" was quite good, but the "Tire bite" didn’t interest me much. I’m not into German style beers. So yeah, what beers to bring home, huh? I went through the menu, check out the beer fridges in the bar, and use all the power my processor got left. Scribble down a list, and ask the bartender to find out how many liters I got on my list in total. After a while he returned and told me I could bring one more bottle, you see the limit for bringing beer into Norway without paying costumes is 5 liters. So fuck the wine and fuck the booze, I only need beer! 13 really good beers for 100 pounds were brought to me in a sexy Brewdog box. Bongo did the same, only he didn’t give a f**k about the costumes fees. Neil the bar manager helped him out and started recommending different rare brews, really great service, "mummy can I bring him home"? Damn it I could take the whole goddamn bar home, and place it in the first floor of the house I live in! I want the people who serve me beer to know beer, is that to much to ask for? During Neil’s presentation of rare beers we bump into “The Kernel” a small London brewery, but more about them later. Neil asked us if we wanted some Brewdog shirts and we got complementary shirts, for using so much money in the bar. Thanks! We also got some pins for our jackets. Cool! When we were done, Neil called us a cab and we picked up our boxes and started walking towards the exit, then we got applause from the other costumers. KOOL! I think I said something like, “Gotta have some good beers at home too…”

Bongo got beer!

We ran up eight or nine carpeted stairs to the top floor, to the penthouse apartment. Then we ran down the stairs again to visit the local snack store next door, we bought some candy from a nice Indian lady. Then up the stairs again, to gorge in foreign candy. We chilled out for a short while, and then walked back to our favorite pub in Aberdeen. We’re not done with the story yet, we’re Norwegian goddamn it, and there was still more beer left that we hadn’t tried! Back at the Brewdog pub all tables were occupied, and all seats too, the time was almost 20:00 and I was worrying that we would have to stand and drink the rest of the night, cause that would’ve mother**king sucked! Mark, one of the bartenders were playing guitar and singing as part of the entertainment for the beer festival. I went to the bar to get something to drink, I pick up Nøgne Ø's "Andhrimnir Barley Wine" that was brewed back in June 2009. It haven’t been available in Norway since then, so great I got to try that one again, it’s a one off brew, meaning only brewed once, so I was happy I got the opportunity. At 10% this was hardcore shit, brewed by Superstar home brewer Gahr Smith-Gahrsen who won the Norwegian championship for home brewers in 2009. What to say about it? A fucking good barley wine, I wished I bought it for bringing home, it was their last bottle. And it was a beautiful bottle with a picture of a Viking ship on it, and the story behind the name was written on the back label of the bottle. I love Norse mythology! So anyways at this point my hawk eyes had found something resembling an available place to sit. We walked over and asked if the space was available and got a yes. So we sat our asses down and started talking to two local guys, a oil worker and a computer cop.

Dan & Bruce with the Wasabi Stout!

Clock striked 20:00 and two of the bartenders Dan & Bruce jumped up on the bar to introduce the new beer of the day: “Mr. Miyagi Wasabi Stout”! Dan the blonde silent bartender was responsible for this brew, and with a Kamikaze bandana, clip-on braces and ninja moves he proudly introduce the very original brew, just slightly interrupted by hecklers before it was ready to be served. Of course we bought a glass, cause we rather enjoyed the sample we tried that same morning! So there we sat with a Scottish cop, drinking Wasabi stouts at 8%, discussing how a pinky finger could be used to better pleasure your partner, not exactly what I had imagined before the trip. No matter, good fun, I'm not alone in this crazy silly world, not the only one with shitty humor...

Bongo with a new friend!

The Kernel brewery was introduced to us earlier, when we bought the take away beers from Bar Manager Neil. The Kernel brewery resides under a railway arch just by Maltby Street in London. In a small room, where all the brewing takes place 6 days a week, and at Saturdays they open the gate to sell their beers. The Borough marked is a place in London where freshly produced foods and drinks have been sold since before the 12th century. Every Saturday morning Evin O’Riordain opens the garage port and sells the beer he has made in that same room. Evin is an Irishman and actually looks like "The Mad Irishman" from Braveheart. A trains passes about every 30 seconds, the room shakes, it’s cold and the work is hard, it sounds romantic but it’s probably everything but romantic! The beers made by “The Kernel” is a piece of art and I can’t help but to think, no pain = no art! So of course he is doomed to stay under the railway arch like some crazy “Phantom of the Opera” figure forever. The Kernel does everything themselves and Evin has two employees, together they do everything from brewing to bottling and they even make the etiquettes, which is just name stapled on a piece of paper and glued to the bottles, he he… We tried “Imperial Brown Stout London 1858”, “Imperial stout” & “India Pale Ale Black” these three ticked in at 10,1, 12,5 and 7,2%. All of them tasted awesome! Evin brews his beer inspired by the time when London was the beer capitol of the world, and how can you not respect a man on that kind of a mission? DIY! He taught himself, just by reading tips on the Internet and getting to it! “Some tips were good, some bad” he said in an interview, “but making beer is easy”. The Kernel now sells beer to many of London’s finest restaurant and has increased massively the last years. Changing to bigger better locations have been considered, but I think a part of the success is also in the limitations. I will definitively visit this place next time I’m in London. And I will recommend it for anybody I know going to London, cheers Evin, good work!

The Kernel

At 22:00 the bartender Neil jumped up on the bar to introduce the night’s last surprise. And the beer thirsty crowd got a choice! And the beer that got the loudest cheers, was to be served on tap for the rest of the night. The first alternative was a beer I’ve tried on tap before, (Forgot which) so I scream for the second choice, Stone “Old Guardian”, and it won. Stone’s “Old Guardian” is a strong mother**ker, a 11,2% barley wine, I really like barley wines. A small search on the net and I see that it’s been made in different versions, but I will just assume that I got the ordinary one. Sorry to say so, I can’t remember the taste of this one, but I love Stone, gooooooo Stone! Next one up was the “Black Chocolate Stout” from “Brooklyn Brewery”. These guys from New York have made a name for themselves in Norway lately, and suddenly I see them all over the place. I’m a fan of their East India Pale Ale and Brown Ale, but the Chocolate Stout was in a class of it’s own, this 10,6% “chocoloca magnificente über alles bier” is made every year for the winter season. I love seasonal beer, it’s something to look forward to, and something to store, and it’s something special, and that makes it more special. And if we can have it all the time, it’s not special anymore! This beer is a rendition of the Imperial Stout that once was made for “Catherine The Great”, I can’t help but to think how great it would be to drink the beer of the Tsar family back in those days, ahh you would probably get your head chopped off for even looking at their stuff! Can't wait to visit Brooklyn Brewery in September, New York, New York!

James Watt of Brewdog & Dirty Haffy of Die By The Beer Blog.

Both James Watt and Martin Dickie had been so nice to answer all the e-mails I sent with questions before we went to Aberdeen. So when James Watt showed up, of course I had to go and have a chat. I notice he was talking to some Splatterpunk/Mad max villain before I went to say hi, and that was the only person I noticed at the Brewdog pub that looked like a freak, you would think more punks would be interested in the punks of beer! Eh, maybe there aren’t any punks left in Aberdeen, maybe the whole music scene has turned Emo! So we had a chat, James and I, and he said that next time I’m in town I can just show up at the brewery for a tour, that’s basically what he said in the mails to, but we were all to busy with this beer festival, drinking and such, to actually do it. He also revealed that we could look forward to lots of new stuff soon. I dig their v-blogs so I asked if they hire someone to do it for them, but he claimed they do it all on their own, cool cool. There’s many plans for new pubs and it might even pop up one in Norway. James was a cool guy, and I really think he and Martin have done a excellent job in creating the Brewdog brand. Really curious on how big they can get, or how big they want to become. As long as there’s no compromise with the brew, I’m fine with them becoming a big brand, damn it, I hope they do get big, bigger, biggest! I’ll be like, “yeah I’ve been drinking their stuff since 2008, how bout you?”

Good beer from "The Bruery!"

It was getting late, but we had no intentions of quitting before closing time, as Vikings we always have to battle on, always and forever, till the bitter end and beyond! So the next one up was the “Coton” from the California brewery “The Bruery”. This 14,5% hardcore “old ale” is made in occasion of The Bruery’s second year anniversary. 25% of the ale was aged in bourbon barrels, but with that strength I think 25% of the ale was bourbon, or were someone playing tricks on me? Bummed out by not remembering the Mikkeller’s “Beer Geek Brunch Weasel” the day before, I went to the bar for another bottle of this very special brew. Here you actually drink something that have been shat out of an animals ass, and it tasted awesome, but what the fuck is it? The weasel coffee or “Ca Phe Chon” is made in Vietnam, where the little cute animal “Asian Palm Civet” eats the beans from the coffee berries. After passing through their digestive system a nice little Vietnamese man or woman gathers them before washing, sun drying & roasting the beans. And what do you then get? A less bitter and very aromatic coffee, know as the worlds most expensive coffee. Anyway the “Beer Geek Brunch Weasel” is brewed my Mikkeller at Nøgne Ø brewery in Grimstad. It’s a ”Imperial Oatmeal Stout”, very dark, and then a bit darker, you know, just a bit darker than black. Taste of chocolate, coffee and general darkness, extremely well balanced. But don’t be fooled it packs a lot of heat with it’s powerful 10,9% of alcohol. This one is extremely high on my list of recommendations, “try or die” as Bongo would’ve said it! The last beer of the night is an old favorite of mine. They used to have it on tap at Cardinal, my hometown hangout. Mikkeller’s “Beer Geek Bacon” used to be awesome! A beer with bacon! The cop sitting with us starts talking about pigs and bacon and beer and we have a whole séance with humor on that theme, its funny cause he’s a pig too. OINK OINK! Anyway one of the female bartenders asked us what we thought of it, and this is before I’ve had a sip. This is the bartender that smiled the most to us, the one with the big you know what’s, really cute gal. She said she didn’t like it because it only tasted like smoke, like the brewery burned down while they bottled it or something!?! I of course defended it, “I’ve tried this one before!” “Blah blah blah”, the response was something like “What haven’t you tried big boy?” ;) Or at least that’s what I heard. And I remembered how good it was on tap, but I couldn’t help it but to agree with the girl. It was way too smoked, so I came up with the idea that when I got home, I needed to add more bacon to it to fix it! (I actually did this, it did fix the problem, but it created another, I didn’t get rid of all the fat from the bacon so the beer died!) So there we sat, the bar was getting empty, people were leaving for the clubs or home. It was 01:00, closing time at a civilized place in Scotland. No dirty chicks with ugly teeth and mini skirts, no skanks, no wasted sob’s, just a nice quiet place. Felt like a perfect ending, except for that last beer that didn’t end on a high note. But still I felt satisfied! So we had a little chat with Neil the bar manager and the busty bartender. Yes we talked about beer, the never-ending subject. I recommend the local Lervig “Konrad’s stout”, he said, “wait a minute”, and return with a Lervik “Winter ale”. Pretty cool to find a local beer from my town in Aberdeen! Then we thank them for the excellent service and promised to return, before we wandered into the night…

Fantastic ale!

Hey, don’t fall asleep. We’re still on a mission man, “Mission Deep-Fried Mars Bar”. This is not about beer anymore, but we were still drunk, that gotta count for something! We walked past the churches, this time with doors opened. Colorful lights and techno music echoed out into the streets. Skanky hoes with ugly teeth and way too short skirts were everywhere. “Butt Cheeks Street here we go.” Some dudes were arguing, some chick was crying and her make-up was everywhere, like she was trying to look like Heath Ledger as the Joker, her girlfriends were comforting her saying, “Never mind him, he was an asshole, let’s find you another one”, she replied “But I love him” and hulked on. Just another night in Aberdeen I guess, just another night in any town probably. We arrived at Marco’s Fast Food to get what’s regarded, as one of the 10 unhealthiest foods on the planet called earth, if there actually was a real “Hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy” this food would probably be mentioned. When we ordered the “Fried Mars Bar” the staff looked at us with a judgmental stare: “Fucking tourists!” They dipped the bars in some nasty batter before putting them into the fryer. A couple of minutes later and we were walking the streets again, eating deep-fried mars bars, mission accomplished! And it didn’t taste bad at all, I kind of like it, hot chocolate bonanza! So Bongo and me wandered the streets, past all the grey houses, it was quiet, extremely quiet for a “big” city. It was time to hit the sacks again, and this night there were no near death accidents or coach sleeping’s or stuff like that…

Healthy foods: Deep fried Mars Bar and Onion rings!

Sunday morning and and we still had some hours till our flight left, and still one mission to fulfill. Gotta eat some Haggis man, so we returned to “The Archibald Simpson”, the place with the lousy beers and order their “award winning” Haggis. 20 minutes later we’re served something that looks extremely similar to how I expect it will look on it’s way out of my body. A big poop between some mashed potatoes and turnips, Haggis was nice, I will not mind trying it again, tastes like (In lack of better words) spicy sheep something!?! Afterwards I went to the toilet, and I’m not kidding, I had to go through 7 doors and go up two stairs just to find the shitter. And what do I find in the bathroom? A couch, hehe, that’s so nasty, such a classy place! At Starbucks before we picked up our luggage at the hotel, Bongo was served a coffee with white chocolate, and for some reason there was yellow fat floating in it. Nuff said, we left and headed for the airport. When we arrived in Stavanger I talked to the costumes officer, she said, “beer is beer no matter how strong it is”, and I went trough without paying anything extra. Bongo brought a bit more than what's allowed and started unpacking his beers, they just look funny at him and told him he to pass, probably thinking, “Fuck that!” (“Dette gidder jeg ikke!”) He passed without any fee, just another bonus from a great trip!

Haggis: The pride of Scotland!

If you’d read through all this, you deserve a beer now, the one you opened at the start of this story is probably empty, anyway that’s at least what I’m gonna do now, have a beer!

The beers I brought home... Mmmm...

Cheers
- Dirty Haffy


P.S. as I'm publishing this I'm on my way to another adventure, Mikkeller bar in Copenhagen, that will probably be my next story!

Tuesday, 28 June 2011

To Aberdeen and beyond… (Part I)

This is not just another beer blog, not just another travel blog and not just another beer-travel blog, whatever that is? Or is it? Hopefully this little story will make you interested enough to visit the places I’ve visited, or try some of the beers I drank, but where to begin? First let’s set an atmosphere for the story. So please turn off your TV, it’s only a distraction anyway. Pour yourself a beer you really like, or another cup of coffee if you can’t drink alcohol right now. Sit back in your favorite chair, or at your favorite spot in the coach. Find a nice reading position, and turn on some chill music you dig that makes you relax, be it Mozart, Nick Cave or Lady “f**king” Gaga, I don’t care! The point here is that you're relaxed and feel good. I'm on a mission to inspire you, not only to have your attention for a little while, but I also want to have an effect on you. And I believe that’s easier if you’re comfortable. I want you to feel like you’re in Aberdeen with me, drinking the best beers in the world with me, or to make you wish you were. I want to share my experience with you and to get you exited about craft beer. Because craft beer f**king rocks! So look deep into my eyes, you are feeling sleepy. Your eyes feel heavy, so heavy. Now you’re under my power, and when I snap my fingers you will wake up and be extremely interested in craft beer! * snap *


First some propaganda!

Ladies and Gentlemen: “There’s a revolution going on, it's worldwide and you the consumer is both the victim and the battlefield.”

Friday at 7am, I dragged my corpse out of bed. It was beer-drinking time again and I had to get my ass to the airport. My traveling companion and buddy Bongo was waiting outside my house, honking the horn of his car. So I grabbed my bags and ran down the stairs and jumped in the car. Pedal to the metal and not long after we’re at the airport. We were excited, because our destination was the Brewdog Pub in Aberdeen, one of the best goddamn beer bars in the whole wide world. And as a bonus, we found out after ordering our tickets, that there’s a festival: “The alternative Aberdeen beer festival!” We passed the Security control and all that stuff, and put our asses down at the "Bar-O-Meter" bar at Sola Airport. And I just knew it in my heart, that this would be the worst beer of the whole trip. I asked for a Leffe Brun, which I know they’ve had before at this place and I like it, but no they’re out! So the chick behind the bar recommended a bottle of Carlsberg "Jakobsen Dark Lager".


I am a hop-head, I won't settle for anything less...


Carlsberg, just the name sends cold shivers down my spine! Carlsberg is the enemy. Tasteless crap here we go, and Carlsberg are the kings of making tasteless crap. Cheap tasteless beer + Massive marketing budget + Wide availability = Success! Let me explain… Tasteless beer use as little as they can and the cheapest ingredients (Cheating on the malts and using corn, rice or wheat instead, and almost no hops and never dry hopping.) they can find to save money, lots of preservatives to speed up the brewing process, and then they über pasteurize & filter the shit out of it to ensure a longer expiry date, and everything is of course made at a centralized facility. Massive marketing and over the top commercials is used to brainwash the consumers. Probably the best beer… Yeah that’s why it’s so fucking cheap! Trying to charm us with beautiful women with huge tits and dudes with six packs, no not six packs of beer, ok, ok, six packs of beers also. Knocking in the same message at any opportunity, our beer is the coolest and the best and will get you laid, and blah blah blah... So basically the large breweries control the marked with their cheap, low cost, tasteless beer. So you might think yeah, but maybe people want only the cheapest beer? And you’re probably right, at least until they know better! But you don’t ask a deaf person about music do you? Yeah they can feel the beat but they don’t really know what’s going on. Anyway the last ten years there’s been a revolution, craft breweries have been popping up all over the world, especially in America, and there have been an explosion in sales for craft breweries. Oh, you say? I haven’t seen them in any stores? And that’s just it, the large breweries control that to, and they also control where their beers are placed in the shelves at the stores, and how much space they need/want. That’s why you see many different sizes of the same products, so they can occupy more space, leaving less and only low profile space for their competitors. So what happens with the small craft breweries or the local breweries then? If they can survive on their own, they sell small scale and locally, fighting for every inch on the shelves at the stores. But love alone don’t pay the bills baby. And many of them get in deep debt and end up in deep shit, and if they're lucky and have done good maybe "Mr. Big Boss" from the "Big Brewery" buy them out. Next step is to lay off the employees and centralize the brewery, which means closing the brewery and moving the production to more efficient facilities to save money. The more power these giga-breweries get, the less chance there is for local or independent breweries to succeed. The macro brewing industry is just too powerful, and run the business like a monopoly. How many stores or chains can say no to a brand like Carlsberg or Budweiser when they want something? They own 99% of the marked and have no interest in letting the micro-brewers into "their marked", into “their stores”. So who do you think is shown the door? Who’s the looser? For the consumer this means fewer options. And all we’re left with is the same product only with different names and labels. Ignorance is not bliss, and I will no longer drink their mass-produced fizzy yellow piss! Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to rise up and demand quality products. Just think about it, drinking beer after a hard week at work is probably your favorite thing in the world, it keep you going, your source for release and pleasure! It’s time to wake up, march down to your local store and tell them what you want, write letters, send e-mail, speak up! You will be heard! UGH!

“Life’s too short to drink cheap beer”

The view from my room...

All right, back to the story! The flight goes smoothly and after a short drive in a cab we check in at a downtown hotel. We get a nice big apartment with two big bedrooms, two bathrooms, a living room and a kitchen, not that we planned to hang around at the hotel. But, it was cheap, probably because it’s in the top floor and there’s no fucking elevator. In Aberdeen there’s a lot of fat and handicapped people with crutches and wheelchairs that probably don’t love stairs. So that might be the reason for the "nice price". Anyways Aberdeen is a beautiful city, and downtown there’s a medieval church or a castle at practically every corner, and huge powerful statues of Scottish hero’s like “Robert The Bruce” and “William Wallace”. I think they loved “Braveheart” even more than me… So before hitting the pub we needed some food, so we sit down at this huge Scottish restaurant (The Archibald Simpson), in this amazing room, that looks like it used to be a ballroom for royal banquets or something. (Actually it used to be the HQ for Bank of Scotland) They had 20 types of beer all from old school hand pumped casks, all of them with less than 4,2% of alcohol, WTF!?! We get a large portion of Scottish breakfast and two really crappy Scottish ales, juck. Couldn’t even drink it up, had an IPA but couldn’t even taste the hops. At least the breakfast wasn’t bad… Then we spend the last minutes before noon at Starbucks just around the corner from the Brewdog pub, they served us coffee that’s sweeter that sugar and tastes less like a coffee than a stout does! On our way to the pub we walked past “The City Council of Aberdeen”, it’s a huge building that could have been the Parliament of England by the looks of it. Apparently it’s the second largest granite structure in the world and its some 225 years old, it’s a nice view for beer drinking!

It's easy to find the pub from here!

12:00: The Brewdog Pub opens. Two cool bartenders were on their posts, Mark and Neil. The sitting area of the pub looked like it’s been created from a scrap marked, different sizes on the stools, one of the tables is just an euro palette with some standard Ikea table legs screwed on to it. One of the walls looked like it used to be the floor of an old gym, another wall is decorated with large stones, and in the bar area the walls are made of materials similar to chalkboards. There’s text written on the walls with different colored charcoals. The place looked nice and trendy. We glued our asses to the coaches by the window. We wanted a to sit well in the room we planned to spend the next twelve hours. Then we walked over to the bar to get some beers and to have a chat with the bartenders, we ended up with an in depth info on the various Brewdog products and on the guest brews they kept in stock. We got excellent service from the bartenders, they were polite and showed interest in their costumers and really knew their stuff. First two beers we bought were Brewdog’s own "Alice Porter" and "Dogma".


Drinking "Alice Porter"

Let’s start with the "Alice Porter" from Brewdog. Matt Gorecki runs the “North Bar” in Leeds, where the beer selections is extremely vast, with more than 600 different beers to choose from. Anyways, last year he got married and went up to Aberdeen for his stag party and to brew with the Brewdog guy’s, sounds nice right? Brewdog accepted his offer of “free labor” and did what they could to help him out to make his wedding brew, his beer of love! Yeah! And what better name for the beer than the name of his wife: Alice Porter. Combine hops from Japan & England and mix in dark malts and vanilla, ta-dah. The Porter was on sale for a limited period only at Matt’s pub in Leeds and in the Aberdeen Brewdog pub, but due to popular demand there’s been brewed a couple of extra batches. Lucky for me! Back at Brewdog: The bartenders walked rounds in the bar with cheese and beer, offering taste samples to all their guests, and as the good Norwegian I am, I accept all free stuff! The “Alice Porter” was excellent with a piece of Gouda cheese, and the intense taste of the cheese and the beer really kicked ass and complement each other. I never thought when I started this blog that I would write about beers and cheese, but now I apparently am! FML! The “Alice Porter” is smooth as hell, and the taste of chocolate and coffee and malts really made an impression on me. Excellently balanced and incredibly sexy! Maybe the best porter I’ve ever tried? One of the bartenders said that every time they connect a new keg of this one, it disappears in matter of hours, and I can understand why. During my two day visit I think I had three little tastes of this amazing treat, I wish I had more but there was just too many other beers to taste, but if you ever get a chance to try this one, do it, just do it!

The Brewdog Bar

History lesson: Back in the days a porter was aged (6-18 months) and then mixed with a younger porter, sent to the pubs and ready to drink straight from the brewery. In those days, 18th century London, brewers usually sent their beers very young to the beer dealers. And it was the dealer or the pub owner’s responsibility to store the beer for maturing before selling it. So a porter meant quality. But due to the war with France and Mr. Napoleon Bonaparte, then later the First World War, malts were taxed to fund the war efforts. Brown malts was the main ingredients of Porter and taxes made it expensive to brew the porter as intended, and the brewers started cheating on the ingredients and the storing, and then the story and definitions gets really complicated, so we’re not gonna go more detailed into that. Anyway this is a Baltic Porter, and a Baltic Porter is traditionally stored like in the old days and stronger than the “newer” British porters, so there should be no confusion, this is the real shit! Malt heaven for everyone who can find it…

Bongo taking picture of me taking picture of him.

Since we visited Brewdog’s own pub, of course we had to try all the Brewdog beers we hadn’t tried before, we considered that just being polite you know, not only to Brewdog but also to ourselves. So next one up is Brewdog’s very own “Dogma”, the beer formerly known as “Speed ball”. "Dogma" is a red/amber ale brewed with honey, herbs & spices, pretty good. I tried a glass from the end of the keg, and at the end of the keg you could see the sediments, large black flakes unlike any sediment I’ve ever seen before in the bottom of the glass before. 7,8% of alcohol, something you would never guess while drinking it, this beer is not to be disputed or doubted, for it is divine! Hallelujah brothers and sisters! I promise you it does not taste like some crappy Irish red ale you might have tried before! And while I’m at it: Fuck Murphy’s!

Bombs away!

So I walked over to the bar again, with only my socks on, no not naked, (Not yet) just without my shoes. Still not many people at the bar, typically Norwegians at holiday, drinking from early morning till the late, late night… Anyways we were having a good time, sitting in each our soft leather coach, like we where at home chilling or something. Legs in the couch or on the table… Where was I, yeah I was walking over to the bar in my socks. And what did I see? Ahh, one of my favorite breweries: Port Brewing! So there I was in front of the bar, considering the "Wipeout IPA" or the "Hop-15" (double IPA), when Bongo came sneaking from behind, “we’ll take both of them.” Both bottles sized up at 0,65 liters. "Hop-15 has" 9,7% of alcohol and Wipeout IPA is at 7,0%. “Oh no, here we go again on a 747,” I though. The bartenders looked at us strangely, “you sure”? “They’re 15 pounds a bottle.” At Cardinal pub in Stavanger where we usually go we wouldn’t even get one of the bottles for that price, so money, sure no problem. But are we headed for hop heaven or hop hell? Could this be a hophead’s last and fatal fix? How do you kill more than overkill? Is there such a thing as too much? Am I not the one who said “too much is never enough?” But the bombers bombing the beer glass on the etiquette of the “Hop-15” makes me think different, 15 types of hops, wow, that’s just sick man! Of course it tasted awesome, but goddamn it, that bottle could easily be shared between four guys. So I had to use the fantastic "Wipeout IPA" to chill down my taste buds, yeah that one’s intensely hopped too, but to be honest, they were from different dimensions. "Hop-15" is a quantum leap away, it’s just on a whole different level, it was radiating with hops. Only fresh hops are used, and since they use 15 different hops, Port Brewing don’t even bother to tell us what types they are using, they just use them all! For the "Wipeout IPA" they use the American hops: Simcoe, Amarillo & Centennial. So you get that American trademark IPA taste, citrusy, fruity, bitter taste, mmmm, lovely. I love American IPA’s, so I’m really sad to hear that Goose Island Brewery has sold out to InBev. (Budweiser owners)

Everyone needs X, get some!

We didn’t go to Aberdeen to drink mainstream beer, and next one up was definitively not mainstream: Brewdog’s “Avery Brown Dredge”, a collaboration brew between three beer bloggers named: Avery, Brown & Dredge. Anyway we just chilled out with a 7,5% ABV Imperial Pilsner. Cool! At 3 p.m. we had ourselves a “5 a.m. saint” and a “77 lager”, both from Brewdog. “5 a.m. saint” is the holy grail of Amber ale according to Brewdog’s homepage. The “77 Lager” might be the best pilsner I’ve ever tasted, hoppy and malty and just great. Even the emo kids liked it, to bad we don’t like them, but we liked all the other people we met at the Brewdog bar! So we continued with Flying Dog “Doggie style” American Pale Ale, and “AleSmith X” Extra Pale Ale. But I still tasted the Port Brewing IPA in the back of my mouth so I don’t feel fit to write about these beers. (Det blir som å hoppe etter Wirkola!)

Brewdog Burger

I’m a big fan of the “Punk IPA”, but I’ve had it plenty of times back in good old Norway, so I didn’t see any reason to buy it in Aberdeen. But the Brewdog crew had plenty of cheese and beer rounds with tastings, so I tried the "Punk IPA" with Brie Cheese, and the taste of the cheese really complimented the taste of the beer, so I really recommend you guys to try that out. The hour’s fly by, and we got hungry, luckily Brewdog had thought about that too. The smells from the BBQ in the back yard had teased my nose for a while when I got up and ordered some burgers. So I bought two Chili Burgers with “Beer & Hops Ketchup” & “5 a.m. chutney” packed between the buns, mmm. After food what’s better than some schnapps? The closest thing we found was Brewdog’s very own “Sink the Bismarck”, a quadruple IPA at 41%. A crazy experience! The burgers were f**king awesome and the Bismarck rocked too, but beware, 2 cl. of this one is enough… At this point we’re joined by a Scottish home brewer, dreaming of getting his chance to brew for one of the larger breweries. But “The alternative Aberdeen beer festival” is just to sweet for a beer geek not to check out, even though his mission for the night was to meet with a brewer at the mainstream beer festival that’s in town. He tells us a story of how the beer industry has a choke hold on all the pubs and bars in the Aberdeen area, how Brewdog is the only resistance. As I have understood it, if you want to serve beer in a pub in the Aberdeen area you need a deal with a brewery. And then the brewery decides what beers your pub gets to serve. The most popular brewery in Scotland is Wellpark Brewery who brews the "Tennent" beer. And who owns them? InBev of course, funny how that name keeps popping up! Anyway, that’s what I’m told.

Chuck Norris Chili Beer!

So what to do, what to do? Yeah, let’s drink some more beer, whoo-hoo, and so we did! Brewdog’s “Royal Virility Performance” was made to mark the wedding of little prince “Willy”. This IPA is bottled in super rare 1.000 bottles, and contains herbal Viagra, chocolate & goats weed. All the shit you need to make your “Willy” hard(er), hehe… It tasted “super sweet”, and this is one of those times when I can say, ha ha, you will never get to try this one, na-nana-na-na! And I can say the same about Brewdog’s Abstrakt AB:06, a super rare triple hopped Imperial IPA. It will kick your ass with its 11,5% of alco-holocaustic powers! We followed up with a Mikkeller “Texas Ranger Barrel Aged”, and this one rocked like hell. Stored in Bourbon Casks with added chipotle chili, basically the smoked chili that makes Cartman shit blood. Can’t wait till next time I’ll try this one again, soon going to Mikkeller bar in Copenhagen hopefully they have it there also. We continued with a Brewdog “Zeitgeist”, their black lager. Then we drank a bottle of the amazing Stone IPA. Mmmm, American IPA, always a hit! Mikkellers brothers brewery Evil Twin was next, “Disco Beer” was the name of the brew, a 10% IPA, mixed with 1/10 of a Chardonnay white wine. We continue with the awesome brewery Southern Tier’s “Imperial Chocolate Stout”, a fucking dessert on it’s own, and another 11%. In between that I also tried one of the festival beer drinks “Black Star”, like the name of the Minbari flagship from the earth-minbari war in Babylon 5. Anyway “Black Star” was crazy, just a crazy as the Minbari’s got when they went to war. A mix between Coke, Vodka, "Alice Porter", "Tactical Nuclear Penguin" & the "Tokyo" stout, I don’t have words, but it makes you drunk…

The death of me!

The clock stroked 22:00 and it was time for a new beer to be presented, Evil Twin’s “Yin & Yang”. “Yin” is an Imperial Stout, “Yang” an Imperial IPA, mixed together they turn into “Taiji” an "Imperial black & tan". Both excellent on it’s own, and great together, 10% volume. But around this time my memories starts to fade away. We’d met two young Scottish beer drinkers, totally interested in drinking like the Vikings, I mean like us. So I pick up a bottle of Mikkeller’s “Black Hole”, a 13% coffee stout, I remember it tasted good, next thing I remember is waking up at the coach in the hotel early morning…


Yup, I'm the drunkest one...

So I had to check out my pictures and videos to see what more we had been drinking, and there I see Great Divide “Yeti” Russian Imperial Stout at 9%. Mikkellers “Beer Geek Brunch Weasel”, Port Brewing “Older Viscosity”, I also see pictures of Nøgne Ø’s “Imperial Dunkelwit” & The Lost Abbey’s “Ten commandments”. Our new found friends brings beer after beer for our table and it’s shared brotherly. We still look human in the videos and we discuss the beers we drink. Bongo thought that “The Lost Abbey” tasted like Lervik's “Barley Wine” or a “box of dry raisins”, “I love it” he said. And at “Imperial Dunkelwit” the beer smelled like pot apparently. When Bongo and me leave, the bartenders tell us that they’ve had bets weather or not we would make it through the night. Nuff said they were very impressed that we could still walk & talk after all those beers! At closing time I took a picture of the bartender and myself, my eyes are hazy to say the least. But whatever, I woke up, no hangover, ready to do it all over again… …just needed a couple of hours more in a bed first!


Impressed bartender, drunk Haffy!

While I was sleeping, Bongo decided to make some food for himself. Using the toaster while being shitfaced isn’t a very good idea. Forgetting about it is even worse. The apartment got filled up with Black-Mordor smoke before Bongo noticed. It wouldn’t have been the first time a toaster was to blame for a house burning down in Great Britain. Me being in a coma at this time couldn’t have done anything about this. But Lorelei wouldn’t have me just yet, drowning in beer but dying from smoke, it’s just not poetic. And there are oceans of beers to be drank ahead of me. The siren swimming in my beers will quite simply just have to wait! So I live to speak with my muse another day, she swims in my beers and lures me to drink more…


Part II coming soon...

Friday, 3 June 2011

The beer revolution continues...

BEER! What do you think is acceptable ingredients in a beer? Do you think that the "German Beer Purity Law" should still be followed? (German purity law, I get a foul taste in my mouth by just thinking those words!) Barley, hops and water huh? Is that beer for you? What about chocolate? Or what about coffee? Or hmm let's say, what about chili? Is it OK to put chili in a beer? Or what about bacon, bacon's good with everything right? Let's take this even further, what about snuff in a beer? Yeah now we're getting somewhere, and while we're at it let's add some bladderwrack (seaweed) to make it interesting! What do you think about that???

Put it under your lip!


Anyways, put your hands together and let's welcome...

"Midtfyns Rough Snuff":

Rough Snuff was brewed by a crazy Danish craft beer brewer called Erik Nielsen, he managed to catch Midtfyns attention and was invited to brew one of his own homemade brews at Midtfyns Brewhouse. This was the second ale in Midtfyns series where they invite Danish amateur craft beer brewers to brew for them. And they won the fucking first price for "Best new Danish beer" by the Danish Beer Drinkes Association for it. What a feeling that must be, to win a price for a beer brewed by a guest brewer... On the bottle you can read that this is a fisherman's ale, and I can just imagine some bearded old Danish man (Probably Erik Nielsen) standing on the deck of his little boat, with waves higher than his mast, with this bottle in his hand. He takes a sip before going "ahhh" and then "arhh", stares out on the angry sea, before blabbering something that must be a swearword only locals can understand. But as refreshing as that might sound I still prefer to drink it at the pub...

I have been so lucky to drink three or four bottles of this lovely delight, lucky you say? Yeah, lucky, you see it's an illegal ale, and your probably never gonna get to try it. (HA-HA while pointing like Nelson) And putting snuff in your Ale at home is not going to be the same. Why illegal? Because of the added snuff off corse, Midtfyns Brygghus have been prohibited by law not to brew more of this tasty treat. So you can't buy Denmark's best beer anymore! Sad story indeed. On the etiquette it says: "This beer is highly addictive", before they claimed that snuff is good for the blood circulation! Legalize it I say, legalize it! I need it, I want it...

Midtfyns Rough Snuff & Dirty Haffy.


Anyway "Rough Snuff" is a strong Belgian ale, 9,5% in volume no less. Seven different kinds of malt, raisin syrup and spices. When you pour it in your glass you easily get a good head! :) And the foam both smells and tastes like "Guran Bananas" from the "Fantomet" (The phantom) candy bag I ate as a kid. Mmmm that really brought back memories. The taste of the beer is very sweet, and it's easily identified as an Belgian ale. I'm not really a fan of Belgian ales, but I let myself fall for this incredible special beer. It's just that good! The banana taste is the strongest, but you also really taste the snuff, and it tastes good! Other than that there's a hint of the sea, dark chocolate and some licorice. Very complexed beer. Me and my bandmate Eddie bought the last two they had at Cardinal last Saturday. But if you should be so lucky to find this anywhere, go get it! Or steal it, whatever! Mmmm...

Me very impressed with the foam of the worlds first non alcoholic stout!

So since this is a beer blog (mainly), and I was just at a world premier, I think I should mentions Nøgne Ø's "Stuten". Stuten is a word play on "Stout" & "Uten", "Uten" being the Norwegian word for without. Yeah, it's a non-alcoholic Stout, the first ever made. It's been a month or so, and that means I don't remember too many details. I just remember it had a pretty impressive head, though it didn't taste like I'm used to with stouts, it was still tasty, but thinner. And instead of tasting better and better the more room tempered it got and the more I drank of it, this one worked the other way around. This version was unpasteurized and had a very limited holding time: 32 of June 2011 it said on the bottle. :) But anyway it didn't really do it for me. At the same day, because it was in the daytime this tasting session, I also tried Brewdog's "Nanny State", and that was much more true to what the Brewery stands for that with the stout. Nanny State was hoppy as hell and much more likable. But sorry y'all, beer without alcohol just doesn't taste right...  But these "alternatives" that I have mentioned here is much much better that the traditional convenient store alcohol free beer! But my advice is still, leave your car at home and drink real beer!

Cheers
-Dirty Haffy